To cherish...

A friend of mine lost her brother in a horrific accident last week... I have talked with her every day since this happened, and have heard the shock in her voice go to gut-wrenching pain and my heart has broken with her.

Tragedy. It awaits in the sidelines for each of us, only at different times and it hits us all in different ways. I used to live in fear of this... awaiting loss that I didn't think I would be able to handle. I don't know why I sunk into such morbidity, but it happened, and it started to take over my life. My husband, my precious daughter, my life as I know it ... fear of losing anything that I love so desperately threatened to rob me of all joy in these gifts.

I read this by MacArthur the other day: (speaking of Paul) "he makes it clear that difficult, unpleasant, painful, even life-threatening circumstances did not rob him of joy, but rather caused it to increase... the only certain cause for loss of joy in a believer's life is sin, which corrupts his fellowship with the Lord, who is the source of joy. (here I interpreted this to mean acts of sin - things we do to offend God... but then he goes on to explain...) Such sinful attitudes as dissatisfaction, bitterness, sullennes, doubt, fear, and negativism cause joy to be forfeited"

I talked with my friend last night, and then I went to bed and wrapped my arms around my husband - I held him a little tighter than normal, realizing a little more clearly how precious his place in my life is. Realizing a little more clearly how much I have been given, and how much I have to lose. And rather than let dread rob me of the joy God means for me to live in, I choose to cherish these days, to revel in today, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. I choose to squeeze as much out of life as I can today, and let God take care of my tomorrows (as He so clearly commands in Mt. 6:34) I want to be the kind of person Paul was, described here by MacArthur: "it seems as if the worst affliction merely tightened his grip on salvation's joy"

May we all grip joy tightly, because otherwise it slips away all too easily. May God grant us all the grace to be able to do this.