A Quiet Heart

SO ... over the last few years, I realized I have a problem. I hate unfinished jobs - I don't like getting interrupted when I've started a job, and I hate it when the day is over and there are things left hanging that I meant to finish that day.

Anyone who's ever had a toddler knows how unrealistic that expectation in life is. Actually, anyone who'e ever lived knows that this is a road that will only lead to frustration and great irritability.

Well, knowing that didn't really help me stop. I've resolved over and over to be more patient, to be more relaxed, to not be so goal-driven, and I would fail over and over, only to find myself more frustrated and irritated.

The LORD has slowly been opening my eyes to His sovereignty ... if I'm going to choose to trust Him in the big things in life, why wouldn't I trust Him with my schedule? When the interruptions come, can I trust that maybe this is what GOD really intends for my day, not what I had planned to accomplish? And slowly my spirit has learned to submit...

Until today. Over the last few months, I have been growing generally more peaceful and patient with life's interruptions... I was greatly helped by reading Elisabeth Eliott, and a quote that she had in one of her books, which I have taped to the front of my planner - a constant reminder.
This morning, during my time with the LORD, I glanced at it, and smugly thought, I'm doing pretty good with this - no need to read it again or think about it too much.

Then the day hit, and how quickly I got sidetracked, frazzled, irritated, and just kinda mad at the world. Charissa was much needier than normal (she got her shots yesterday - it might have been because of that), every time I would try to start a project, I got interrupted, so by 5:00, I had numerous half-finished projects and very little to show for a day that I had such high hopes for.

So at the end of this day, I repent of my morning smugness and realize that I am a constant work in progress, daily needing the intervention of the Holy Spirit in my sinful spirit to put my heart in the right place. And I include in here the quote that has helped me so much; maybe you, like me, could use a little encouragement in quieting your heart:

"I think I find most help in trying to look on all the interruptions and hindrances to work that one has planned out for oneself as discipline, trials sent by GOD to help one against getting selfish over one's work. Then one can feel that one's work - one's true work for GOD - consists in doing some trifling haphazard thing that has been thrown into one's day.
It is not a waste of time, as one is tempted to think, it is the most important part of the work of the day - the part one can best offer to GOD. After such a hindrance, do not rush after the planned work; trust that the time to finish it will be given sometime, and KEEP A QUIET HEART ABOUT IT"
-Annie Keary