View from our balcony window yesterday morning with the clouds rolling in...

Love

Took this picture on the way up to beautiful Colorado - Almost put it on Charissa's page, but it seemed to confuse things to put my fun landscape photo on my page about her... Life does get intermingled, though, doesn't it?

Anyway, that's not at all what this is about. Was reading Philippians this morning - one of my favority books. Paul had a special relationship with the Philippians, one of joy and partnership, so when he says, "this is my prayer for you", my ears perked up. "This is my prayer: That your LOVE may abound more and more in KNOWLEDGE and DEPTH OF INSIGHT..." (1:9)

It seems that the church today gets so caught up in the first or second half of the verse - it's almost like an either/or. Our priority of LOVE or TRUTH (Knowledge & depth of insight), but God's call is to make it a marriage of both. What a fine tuned balance we must walk! But check out the next verse: "SO THAT you may be able to DISCERN what is best and be PURE and BLAMELESS... filled with the fruit of righteousness"

How many of us clamor after God - to know His will/plan for our lives - for our ministry - for our family - for ... (fill in the blank). We say we want to be righteous, to live in PURITY... but do we do what it requires? Rather than chasing after the fruit, God tells us to obey... to pursue love (not the fluffy love at all costs regardless of truth) but true LOVE in knowledge and depth of insight and the fruit in our lives will be discernment, purity and righteousness.

"Put first things first and second things will follow. Put second things first and you will lose both first and second things" -C.S. Lewis Just another take on "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33)

Covered by grace...

There's a lot of emotions involved in dreams coming true... in prayers being answered... in the long wait giving birth to reality.

Brad and I were at the land today - he was driving by and said, "you have to see this!". He turned and drove by the section of land that is being cleared for the trailers, only about a quarter of the entire plot. I thought to myself, "what's the big deal, I've seen the land before...", but as he came over the hill, and I saw clear, smooth ground, being prepared for bringing forth this great answer to years of prayers, something burst forth in my heart, and suddenly I had tears in my eyes and my heart was beating fast. It caught me by surprise, and Brad just smiled at me knowingly - for he had experienced the same thing when he saw it for the first time.

Yet in this whole process, it is so easy to become self-engrossed. So aware of my part in all of this. So humbled by how little I feel in the midst of something this big. So painfully self-consciously aware of my shortcomings as I gaze in wonder at a miracle springing forth. Even in humility, the sinfulness of self creeps in...

I must not draw lines in my life between the "secular" and "sacred", the "sinful" and "holy"... for isn't everything I touch coated in sin? This is from Charles Spurgeon's Morning & Evening devotional for August 29:
"We have need that the LORD should have mercy upon our good works, our prayers, our preachings, our alms-givings, and our holiest things. How sweet the remembrance that inexhaustible mercy is waiting to be gracious to us, to restore our backslidings, and make our broken bones rejoice! The blood was not only sprinkled upon the doorposts of Israel's dwelling houses, but upon the sanctuary, the mercy-seat, and the altar, because as sin intrudes into our holiest things, the blood of JESUS is needed to purify them from defilement."

I stand in constant need of the the blood of Christ to be sprinkled on every part of my life - my thoughts, my acts of service and worship, my prayers -- my very obedience must be covered by the grace of GOD!

A Quiet Heart

SO ... over the last few years, I realized I have a problem. I hate unfinished jobs - I don't like getting interrupted when I've started a job, and I hate it when the day is over and there are things left hanging that I meant to finish that day.

Anyone who's ever had a toddler knows how unrealistic that expectation in life is. Actually, anyone who'e ever lived knows that this is a road that will only lead to frustration and great irritability.

Well, knowing that didn't really help me stop. I've resolved over and over to be more patient, to be more relaxed, to not be so goal-driven, and I would fail over and over, only to find myself more frustrated and irritated.

The LORD has slowly been opening my eyes to His sovereignty ... if I'm going to choose to trust Him in the big things in life, why wouldn't I trust Him with my schedule? When the interruptions come, can I trust that maybe this is what GOD really intends for my day, not what I had planned to accomplish? And slowly my spirit has learned to submit...

Until today. Over the last few months, I have been growing generally more peaceful and patient with life's interruptions... I was greatly helped by reading Elisabeth Eliott, and a quote that she had in one of her books, which I have taped to the front of my planner - a constant reminder.
This morning, during my time with the LORD, I glanced at it, and smugly thought, I'm doing pretty good with this - no need to read it again or think about it too much.

Then the day hit, and how quickly I got sidetracked, frazzled, irritated, and just kinda mad at the world. Charissa was much needier than normal (she got her shots yesterday - it might have been because of that), every time I would try to start a project, I got interrupted, so by 5:00, I had numerous half-finished projects and very little to show for a day that I had such high hopes for.

So at the end of this day, I repent of my morning smugness and realize that I am a constant work in progress, daily needing the intervention of the Holy Spirit in my sinful spirit to put my heart in the right place. And I include in here the quote that has helped me so much; maybe you, like me, could use a little encouragement in quieting your heart:

"I think I find most help in trying to look on all the interruptions and hindrances to work that one has planned out for oneself as discipline, trials sent by GOD to help one against getting selfish over one's work. Then one can feel that one's work - one's true work for GOD - consists in doing some trifling haphazard thing that has been thrown into one's day.
It is not a waste of time, as one is tempted to think, it is the most important part of the work of the day - the part one can best offer to GOD. After such a hindrance, do not rush after the planned work; trust that the time to finish it will be given sometime, and KEEP A QUIET HEART ABOUT IT"
-Annie Keary